It’s no secret I’m into Femdom–it’s right there in the sidebar if you can pry your eyes away from my cleavage. Female dominance in BDSM can cover a range of diverse activities but there are a few tropes that are more specific to Femdom than to our male counterparts. One of them, and one that I also participate in, is small penis humiliation.
Humiliation is an aspect of BDSM that seems to terrify vanilla folk, and I can see why. Healthy relationships should be based on mutual respect and support, but within the context of BDSM that dynamic can be flipped during humiliation. Humiliation is a way of humbling a bottom and pushing them into a more subservient space, exploiting their insecurity can make them more eager to please. It can also be flattering for some subs, if they perceive that even while humiliated and downtrodden their Dom values them enough to continue to dominate them. For many people that participate in humiliation play, humiliation is just part of a process that will eventually culminate in the training and bettering of a sub, so it’s not just the end goal. Bearing in mind, all of this should only be done as part of a consensual power exchange, if being humiliated crosses the sub’s boundaries, all activities should cease.
Different things humiliate different people. Some people find wearing certain clothing (or none at all) humiliating, some have to be made to do humiliating things, but “dirty talk” is probably the most well known. Insulting and putting down someone verbally can illicit the desired effect of humiliation. For most men, honing in straight on their penises is the sure fire way to go. The cheap shot. Hitting below the belt, as it were.
Large penises get celebrated a lot–bigger is better, as the saying goes. While not possessing a penis myself, I was raised around guys and heard tales of the “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” size-comparison culture that seems endemic in men’s younger years. Small penises are seen as a sign of impotency, of lack of virility, a strike against one’s manhood. I’ve had guys introduce themselves to me as “9 inches uncut, you’re cute” and the like before. So, of course, anyone who is interested in humiliation will hone in on this one-size-fits-all insecurity. In Femdom, small penis humiliation performed by Size Queens can also be linked to cuckolding and chastity, two other tropes of Female Dominance.
But relax, buddy. Your penis is big enough.
I’m not going to try to tell you that some women do not prefer bigger cocks, there are some that do. However, there are also some that don’t. There are also some who literally do not care one way or the other, and here’s why:
If sex consistently solely of sliding a penis into a vagina and leaving it there, small penises would probably be quite dull. However, is that all that sex is? Not unless you’re very, very boring.
Sex does not only involve penis-in-vagina penetration. A person with a small penis has hands to touch. Hips to form a great rhythm. A mouth to speak. A tongue to lick. A brain capable of learning their partner’s hot spots, of trying new things, or experimenting in other kinds of sexual encounters. If we didn’t have all of that, I’m sure we’d be going back to our dildos because sex wouldn’t be worth it. But a person with a small penis who knows how to use other parts of their body will always be infinitely better than a person with a large penis who has no fucking clue.
So relax, small penis holders. Humiliation is a great aspect of BDSM play, but don’t let it taint your actual understanding of how sex should work or your sense of self-worth.
You are enough.