Review: Textured Devil Tongue Glass Dildo

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Readers, may I present to you one of my dream dildos? I discovered this beautiful Glassvibrations Textured Devil Tongue Glass Dildo while browsing Lovehoney back in November 2014 and have been quietly lusting over it since. The shape appeals to my dark sense of humor (I may have said “hail Satan” when it came in the post), the color is gorgeous, the texture looked fun, and it’s glass, my favorite material for sex toys. When I got a 20% off coupon from Lovehoney and a paycheck in, I decided to bite the bullet and buy my own.

Glassvibrations is rarely mentioned when listing the different manufacturers of lovely glass toys because they don’t make many toys but this dildo just makes me want to hunt down more of them, that’s how good it is. The tongue came packaged in a cardboard storage box with clear plastic window in the front, kept strapped to a pillow by some elastic ribbons just to keep it safe in transit. The sides of the box are printed with the Glassvibrations logo, product information, and photographs of their other products, so it’s not especially discreet. If you’re like me and worried about keeping your glass toys as safe as possible, this box makes a good storage option, although it also comes with a draw-string bag if the box is too bulky for your liking.

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Let’s talk obvious facts: This thing is fucking beautiful. For me, the aesthetics of a toy are important in my enjoyment of it. The first bite is with the eye, as they say, and a toy as gorgeous as this just encourages me to use it time and time again. I’m always skeptical of people saying that a sex toy won’t be recognized as such (especially when it’s obviously phallic…) but this tongue actually delivers on that. I was on my back porch photographing it in the sunshine when my mother decided to join me and she complimented by “sculpture” and asked if I got it on my last thrifting haul. The color is a lovely cherry red that is slightly darker in the handle. The shape is meant to resemble a devil’s tongue (I get Gene Simmons vibes, personally) which appeals to my Goth/metalhead/witchy aesthetics just perfectly.

I figured, hey, even if this tongue doesn’t feel great, at least it looks gorgeous on a shelf, but I really should never have worried.

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The tongue just feels like the person who designed it really thought about what they were doing (and possibly went through a few revisions to get it just right.) The entire dildo is 8.1 inches long with an insertable length of 6 inches and is 5.1 inches in circumference at the widest point. The texture is only on the top of the dildo but the dildo is relatively flat and wide so you get that stretch without having the texture scraping at the front of your vaginal wall. The texture is especially noticeable if you chill the dildo in cold water or the fridge before using it. The gorgeous curved handle at the end is very comfortable to hold as well as being very pretty..

For g-spot stimulation you really have to get out of the mind-set of jamming the tip of the tongue on your g-spot with reckless abandon, which is my preferred method. Lovers of the nJoy Pure wand and the Jopen Comet might find this one odd to use at first. The tip of the tongue is somewhat pointed and doing that kind of rigorous thrusting is extremely uncomfortable. Still, the curve of the tongue combined with the texture gives beautiful g-spot stimulation if you’re willing to go slow and really appreciate it and, combined with some lovely clitoral stimulation, the orgasms are very satisfying.

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I was worried that this toy would be difficult to clean with all the grooves but because it’s glass it couldn’t be simpler, toy cleaner works a charm for spot cleaning and the dildo can be sterilized in boiling water. I’ve never had a situation where I saw residue left over after cleaning, which is nice.

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My one complaint with the dildo is that I really wish it were made of solid red glass. The toy has a red core but the outer material is made of clear glass so there is a double-layered effect. I think the design would have been cleaner if it had been rendered all in red. Is this a minor quibble? Yes, the color doesn’t affect how the toy feels, but honestly with something that is as much a work of art as this dildo is, I think the criticism is warranted.

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The Devil tongue has become a permanent resident of my nightstand where my most-used toys are kept, it’s easily one of my favorite things I’ve reviewed so far. If you’re interested in obtaining your own gorgeous Devil tongue, and I highly recommend that you do, head on over to Lovehoney and pick yours up here. In the future I’d like to try some of the other Glassvibrations toys, Lovehoney carries one of their smoothie probers which looks fun and a glass pony tail butt plug which I’m positively drooling over.

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About missmhithrha

Mary Mh'ithrha, a 20 year old Femdom enthusiast living in the US. I like slapping people around and sitting on their faces. Pleased to meet you.
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