Everyone has different priorities and tastes in sex toys. What you need out of a sex toy is different than what someone else might need based on your sensitivity, size preference, and more. Reading reviews from a wide variety of sources is a fantastic way to ensure you’re buying the right product for you, but finding a reviewer who has similar preferences to you will make their reviews that much more helpful. So, are we compatible?
Me and my Relationship – I’m a pansexual cisgender woman and I have a long-standing interest in Femdom BDSM. I’ve been in a relationship with a wonderful partner for a while now and he’s vanilla but amazingly perceptive when helping me test out some of my kinky toys. That being said, I also review a hefty number of toys for masturbation as well.
Budget – I’m not going to mince words, I’m on a student budget. I’ve been known to write about sourcing cheap BDSM equipment and to pan products for being far too overpriced. I have other financial priorities and I can’t drop huge chunks of money on toys on a whim. When I see other reviewers claim that a $100 vibrator is completely reasonable, I wince. Not for me, and maybe not for you. If you’re also on a budget, you’ll find sympathy and some cheaper options for higher quality toys here.
Size – I can appreciate thinner dildos, especially ones with texture, but I’ve grown to appreciate slightly thicker dildos and vibrators for a fuller feeling. I wouldn’t call myself a size queen and anything above the 2.25 inch diameter mark starts to give me worry lines. If your comfort zone tends to be in the middle size-wise, with a preference for feeling full, we’ll get along just fine.
Power and Precision – I put myself in the mid-range for power seekers. A barely there buzz made by a vibrator powered by watch batteries is going to have me throwing a toy in disgust but I don’t require a vibrator with a jet engine to get me off. I also prefer pin-point stimulation to broader varieties and I’ve never gotten a dual stimulation rabbit to get me off.
G-Spot – I don’t require g-spot stimulation to have a good sexual session, it’s not high on my priority list. I don’t own many specifically g-spot toys (perfectly willing to try them, though) and I’ve never had an only g-spot orgasm. That being said, when I do want g-spot stimulation, I’m a thruster. I’m not convinced any amount of clenching, twisting, or rocking is going to give me the kind of stimulation my g-spot likes. Do you like hammering away with dildos and vibes? You’re in good company.
Color and Style – For sex toys I tend to favor anything besides realistic skin-colored dildos. I have a deep-seated love of fantasy toys or ones with interesting color palettes (read: not pink, my dream is to get hold of the discontinued Vixen Creations Leoweenie.) For my kink equipment I like classic BDSM aesthetics– black and red leather, silver metal accents. I tend to shy away from anything you could call “cutesy.”
Anal – I’m an anal newbie. For a long time I just thought I hated anal stimulation, it didn’t do much for me and, by itself, it still doesn’t. Now that I’ve expanded my horizons a bit I prefer smaller, shorter plugs (if it looks long and point-y, I can’t do it) and it has to be combined with some damn good clitoral stimulation to make it worth my while. I don’t leave plugs in for hours and hours, and I don’t tend to test dildos anally. If you’re anal tentative like me, we’re probably compatible.
Maintenance – I don’t have hours and hours to meticulously clean every line and groove of a toy. If it takes more than a few minutes to clean it, I’m going to find myself using that toy less and less. I tend to prefer easy to clean materials like glass and stainless steel. I also don’t have an entire toy closet to store things in and as my collection grows storage is a constant issue for me. If you have very little patience for cleaning difficult toys and are worrying about storage, we’re in the same boat.
BDSM – During BDSM I’m strictly a Domme but, for the sake of a thorough review, I test out any of my tools on myself before using them on anyone else. I put my ass on the line for impact toys and I’ve spent more than my fair share of time making rope harnesses and ties on myself. I try to show a toy from both the giving and receiving angles (within reason, I can’t sprout a penis and testicles on a whim to experience a humbler), but my articles and guides are from the perspective of a dominant woman. I consider myself at an intermediate skill level, I’m certainly not a newbie but I’m always eager to learn more. If you’re a dominant woman or shopping for the domme in your life, you’ll find my reviews cater to that point of view.
So, these are my basic stats. I’m not saying that these are the right preferences by any means, but it should give you a better idea what I mean when I say something is too thin or too weak. Just keep these in mind when reading my reviews and guides and we’ll all be on the same page, but remember you can always e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment on the post if you want more advice on if a specific toy is right for you.