Review: Dreamgirl Leopard Print Stretch Mesh Chemise

This chemise. My, word. It’s loud. It’s sassy. It’s over the top. It’s kind of kitsch. I never expected to like it as much as I do, but here we are.

dg2It’s hard not to use silly cliches when reviewing this Leopard Print Stretch Chemise by Dreamgirl because it just inspires that kind of over the top sexy feeling. It’s a hot little number, that’s for sure, and not for the faint of heart.

The construction is quite simple, the body of the chemise is a sheer red and black leopard print. The hems are trimmed in red ribbon and black lace and the sleeves are off the shoulder. It stays up very well over my chest and comes to rest at the top of my thighs. It comes in one plus size which fits US sizes 16-20.

The fit of the chemise is great, it’s a clingy material that stretches to accommodate a large range of sizes. While it covers a modest area, the fabric is see-through and reveals a hint of what lies below. I was worried that the lace would be stiff and scratchy but it is pleasantly soft. I have absolutely no qualms about the fit or construction here.

Speaking of what lies below, the included thong is probably my favorite part of this ensemble. Wearing it underneath a plain pair of black jeans makes me feel fiery and sassy and no one needs to know why but me. I almost wish it were sold separately because I think a lot more people would buy something this bright if it were smaller and subtle like this thong, but I think the chemise set is good value for it, if you’re brave enough.


I’m not going to pretend that this chemise is for everyone. The tight fit wouldn’t be suitable for anyone who is anxious about showing rolls or curves and the design is more bold than many would feel comfortable with. But, if you’re a confidant woman looking for something unusual and red hot, this chemise gets my full recommendation.

If you would like your own Dreamgirl Leopard Print Stretch Mesh Chemise & Thong, you can buy it on Naughty Delight here for $20. You can also search the rest of Naughty Delight’s plus size lingerie range here.


Thank you to Naughty Delight for sending me this product for an honest review.

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Review: Curve Push Up Floral Print Babydoll

It’s not every day I look down at my DD chest and think it’s inadequate, let me tell you. The other day a friend asked me “Why do you wear a push-up bra every day?” and, puzzled, I informed them that I was wearing a sport’s bra. That’s the kind of chest I’m working with. Having a pronounced hourglass shape helps with that, I’m sure, but I’ve never been make to feel like my breasts are small. However, when I was trying on this Curve Push Up Floral Print Babydoll sent to me by the lovely folks over at Naughty Delight it was clear this was made for a much (much) larger chest than mine.


Let’s get back to positives for a moment. This was my first experience shopping with Naughty Delight and I’m pleased to say they were wonderful to work with. My package was completely discreet and arrived very quickly after shipping. This piece came in a standard printed cardboard box with a photograph of a model wearing it, along with measurement and brand information.

babydoll4 Just out of the box I love the design of this babydoll. The floral cups are flirty and feminine, the sheer black skirting is flattering and provides coverage over the stomach and hip area that many plus-size women, myself included, find confidence-boosting. I like the fact that there’s underwire which is a feature most lingerie misses out on but I tend to like (it’s not always comfortable, but it gives support and lift that I love for any lingerie I intend to seduce someone in.) In this case, the underwire is thin and flexible, not at all likely to poke you under the arms or any of that nonsense. The hook and eye closer at the back means that this will comfortably fit several band sizes, which is always a plus for fit (and this babydoll needs it, read on below to see why.)

babydoll3The accompanying g-string is comfortable as far as polyester/spandex blends go (although I’m not sure if it’s just our different sizes but mine seems much skimpier than the one that the model is wearing) and the bows are fun and cute, if you’re into that kind of feminine detail. Technically I couldn’t find any loose strings or faults in my babydoll. Just looking at how it looks on the model, the design is beautiful and feminine with great sex appeal. And the price, $24 at Naughty Delight, is just right.


But the fit. Oh, the fit.

I got this babydoll in a 3X/4X, which fits US sizes 18-22. I’m at the bigger end of that spectrum and had to adjust the back hooks to the largest band size, but with a DD chest I still couldn’t fill out the bust. I think this is very unusual because I have a proportional hourglass shape but at the largest size can’t fill out the bust, which means that it was designed for a woman who is significantly top-heavy but not with a larger band size. There is no cup-size mentioned on the packaging so I went directly to the manufacturer website to try and see what cup size this was designed for but there was nothing listed, which I think is a little disappointing if you’re going to go to the trouble of making a bra-like molded cup.


babydoll2Speaking of the cups, there is something very strange going on here. The cups have an optional push-up insert that’s just a flimsy piece of foam that adds very little, at least in my case. I’m not sure if a larger chested woman would find it gives a better effect but it’s such a flimsy piece of material I think not. Since the cup is designed around this insert, the bust is divided in two, the top half smooth foam and the bottom half an open pocket for the insert. This two-part design causes buckling even with the insert so it looks like your breast is divided in two and there’s a visible line. This line is much worse without the insert but is still there even with the insert in place.


That is… not flattering. To say the least. My breasts looked oddly lumpy because of this strange fit and I’m inclined to think that even with larger breasts filling this out the silhouette would still be lumpy and weird. This odd quirk of design takes an otherwise pretty and potentially very sexy babydoll and tanks the sex appeal. Don’t let the sultry model’s stare fool you, this isn’t a garment to get your partner’s engine revving. Not at all.


Here you can see some of the buckling even with the insert. Without it, it’s much worse.

If I were to improve this design, I’d do this:

  1. Pick a cup size for the chest and clearly advertise it on the packaging. If you’re catering to a larger chest size, that’s fine, but make it clear.
  2. If choosing to make it for a larger cup size, upwards of E and F, choose a sturdier material for the cup.
  3. Stick with a traditional molded cup without any of the insert nonsense to create a smooth surface without any weird buckling effects.
  4. Shorten the straps. Even on the tightest setting they’re very large and loose.

More visible buckling



I can’t endorse the fact that this babydoll is coy about its sizing since it means I can’t figure out who to recommend it to, but if you’re a size 18-22 woman with a large bust compared to your band size and you want to try out the Curve Push Up Floral Print Babydoll, you can find it on Naughty Delight here. Even if you’re not, be sure to check out the rest of Naughty Delight’s plus-size lingerie and straight-sized lingerie, they have a wonderful selection. Watch this space for another review soon.





Thank you to Naughty Delight for sending me this product for an honest review.

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Review: Oh La La Cheri Plus Size Sheer Babydoll and Thong

babydoll5How should a good piece of lingerie make you feel? Sexy? Confident? Pretty? Yes, to all of that (and more!) but the piece of lingerie I’m reviewing today took it a step further by making me feel like a princess. Now, I’ve never been the princess-y type, but something about this soft, floaty purple babydoll brings out the feminine princess in me. A bratty, demanding princess, but a princess nonetheless.


Lovehoney sent me this Oh La La Cheri Curves Plus-Size Sheer Babydoll and Thong to review and, simply put, I love it. It’s not my usual style, considering how floaty and feminine it is, but I’ve come to really adore it. It’s certainly unlike anything else in my lingerie closet at the moment. The babydoll has a halter neck made of black ribbon that connect to two soft triangle cups for your breasts, below which is an elastic waist decorated in the front with black ribbon. The babydoll is quite short (it rests just above the bottom of my butt) and since the material is so sheer it shows off quite a bit. Also included is a thong, which I’ll get to in a moment. It comes in a single plus-size that fits UK Dress size 16-20 / US 14-18. I’m at the upper end of that size range but I found that the babydoll suited me perfectly and I think it has potential to flatter a lot of sizes.


The babydoll comes in thin plastic and I’d advise giving it a simple handwash before wearing it. The ribbon can be a bit crinkly and stiff at first but I found that that went away once it was worn and washed. The mesh is soft and perfect, I couldn’t find any imperfections on mine and the shade of purple is gorgeous. The hem is rolled pretty simply in contrasting black.


The elastic under-bust band held the babydoll up perfectly without cutting into me or otherwise being uncomfortable, which is fantastic and something I’ve come to dread from lingerie sets, especially in this price range.

babydoll7Unfortunately, I noticed after wearing the babydoll a few times the ribbon on the front had started to fray on the edges. This ribbon isn’t structurally important, just decorative, and I was able to easily fix it with a needle and thread but honestly I wasn’t putting this babydoll through a lot of strenuous paces, so I wish they would have sewn it into the hem in a more sturdy fashion. I didn’t notice any similar fraying along the shoulder straps or the ends of the bow.


The cups of this babydoll don’t offer any support beyond the elastic waistband so don’t expect any lifting action there. This wasn’t a huge problem for me because I found that not having intense push-up cleavage softened the look in a way that I really like. Keep in mind, though, that I have DD breasts, so larger cup sizes might want something with a little bit of underwire or other support.



The thong that comes with the babydoll is extremely skimpy. Extremely. If it were a swimsuit you’d probably be called off the beach for public indecency. The strings of the back are just simple elastic about half an inch wide and the front is pretty narrow.  The fact that it’s sheer doesn’t help (although the sheerness doesn’t matter when the thong is covered by the babydoll, because layered over it becomes somewhat opaque unless you’re really looking), but even in a solid material it’d show quite a bit.


This is, of course, up to personal preference, but I would have preferred a wider front panel to cover up more. The thong is still useful for wearing under other clothing by itself (I’ve never had a visible panty line wearing this thong) so you can also wear the two pieces separately. I found I loved this babydoll matched with black underwear and fishnets as well, to give it a bit of extra edge.


This babydoll shows off everything, the material is very sheer but it also skims your curves in a very flattering way. I think it’s perfect both for women who love their curves and want to show them off and women who need a little more coverage just to give them that extra confidence boost! The smaller you are in the size range of this product, the more gathered the skirting of the babydoll will be, but I found that even on the upper size end it was quite flattering. My partner certainly loved it and was the first to tell me I looked like a princess, which they might regret the next time I start acting like one.

I love this babydoll, it’s the perfect soft feminine touch for my lingerie closet at a wonderful price. It goes well with my other pieces, it made me feel like a princess, and my partner absolutely adored it. If you would like your own Oh La La Cheri Plus-Size Sheer Babydoll and Thong you can pick up yours at Lovehoney UK for £24.99 or on their US website for $36.99.






Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me this product for an honest review.

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Review: Tantus Vibrating Vamp

When you find the perfect all-rounder dildo, you know. It might not have the craziest texture, extreme girth, or g-spotting curve but as soon as you use it you realize what a workhorse it is. That’s me with the grab-bag vibrating Vamp from Tantus I purchased recently, and it’s certainly earned its home in my bedside table.


If you weren’t aware, Tantus grab-bags are Tantus toys at discounted prices with the disadvantage that you don’t get to pick your color and you get non-standard packaging. If you don’t give a rats-ass for packaging or color on your dildo, this is pretty much a God send. Me, though, I’m picky. The first bite is with the eyes and appearance is quite big factor in me wanting to try a new toy (see my favorite glass dildo.) I had avoided grab-bags for this reason (and upon seeing some very strange color combos) until Tantus employees posted a batch of Vamps with gorgeous black/blue/purple colors. Unfortunately, I was on a self-imposed shopping ban until I finished all my coursework for the year, so I sighed and let it go. Fast forward a little while and I had finished all my work and gotten some good personal news. The lovely folk at Tantus again tweeted photos of Vamps–this time, black and purple. I asked if any of the original blue batch were left, the answer was yes. So, I figured, I was probably going to get either a blue/black/purple dildo or a black and purple dildo–both color combos sounded great to me!


My political philosophy in a nutshell, actually.

My dildo arrived the following week. It came in a plain cardboard box and the dildo itself came in a plastic Tantus bag while the rest of the box was filled with brown packing paper. It even came with a cute Make Dildos Not War sticker that I adore.


The color on this Vamp is insane, it’s exactly what I wanted and I couldn’t be more thrilled. The black, purple, and teal blue are swirled together in a way that almost seems like an oil slick with added shimmery loveliness. The silicone is quite shiny and smooth (and attracts lint like nothing else I own, it’s a little ridiculous. To give you an idea, I washed my Vamp in the sink of my bathroom and walked all of ten feet to take the pictures for this post, and all the lint you see accumulated during that time.) It looks amazing. It’s the prettiest dick I’ve ever seen.

That being said, my Vamp has two imperfections in the Silicone, a shallow scrape on the head and a small nick on the shaft. I can only assume these happened in the post (the packaging was pretty minimal, as I said) but while they’re a little bit of an eyesore on an otherwise gorgeous dick I can’t feel them at all during use and they don’t make cleaning too big a chore.


Speaking of cleaning, the Vamp is made of 100% silicone and is very easy to maintain. Either using a sex toy cleanser or other soap is fine for spot-cleaning, and then you can sanitize with a 10% bleach solution or by boiling your Vamp.

But that’s all  surface stuff. What does the Vamp feel like?

In short, oh my. In long: My g-spot is singing.

dildo5The Vamp’s silicone is super shiny and doesn’t require a lot of lube to get going. The head is the biggest challenge on the Vamp (diameter 1.75 inches) , but even that is nicely tapered so that I never had trouble sliding the Vamp in. The coronal ridge that looks intimidating to the eye is much tamer inside and gently grinding and twisting it against my g-spot is really, really intense. I can’t insert the full length of the Vamp (7 inches), but generally speaking I don’t even want to because I just want that ridge on my g-spot. I’ve never had an issue with the ridge catching on my public bone when pulling it out, which means I can thrust recklessly without worrying about whether or not I’m going to feel that painful twinge in my pelvis.

That’s why the Vamp is a workhorse for me. It’s girthy enough to just leave in and clench around while I’m using a clitoral vibe, it’s great for thrusting slowly so I can appreciate every bit of texture or roughly when I’m in the mood, and the ridge is fantastic on my g-spot. It does everything I can expect from a fantastic dildo. Bonus: The end makes a good handle and it isn’t a lube-hog.

Aw yis

Aw yis

My Vamp is actually the vibrating model so the base is hollowed out and a bullet vibe is provided to turn the Vamp into a vibrator. The advantage to this is that you can still boil your toy to clean it (after removing the bullet, obviously) and use it more easily as both a dildo and a vibrator. I do appreciate this effort to make the toy more versatile but I found that the vibrations were very dampened by the silicone. While I could feel them in the base they don’t reach up to the head. When inserted? They’re negligible. I thought I’d be able to at least feel the vibrations in the base where the bullet is on my outer labia but because I can’t insert the full length of the Vamp the vibration feature is pretty lost on me. I think maybe coupling it with a more powerful, rumbly bullet, something like the We-Vibe Tango, would work, but I don’t have one on hand to test that out.


I should also note that the Vamp is completely harness compatible, it works in my Red Rider harness perfectly and is weighted nicely for strap-on play.


Should you pick up a Vibrating Vamp? Honestly, I’d go for the regular, non-vibrating Vamp over it. The vibrating feature just did not work for me and isn’t worth the extra money, unless you already have a powerful bullet-vibe on hand. I would keep Tantus’s grab-bag feature in mind if you chose to pick one up yourself, or any other Tantus toy for that matter, so be sure to follow @Tantus and @Tantus_Pirate to see what colors are in the grab-bag right now.

Vibrating Vamp grab bags are currently sold out on Tantus’s website but when they come back you can pick one up here. Now all that’s left for me is to plan my next Tantus purchase.

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Review: Come As You Are

Reading Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski was difficult for two reasons. First, because while I take no issue with reading about sex in public, other people seem to find it weird (which got me some odd looks), and second, because I learned something new on every other page and wanted to tell everyone. I want to sing this book from the rooftops until the police have to be called because it’s four in the morning and I’m screeching about vulvas. It’s that good. It’s so good.


Come As You Are is set up to give advice to women about improving their sex lives based in both a scientific understanding of sex and a social understanding of what our culture says about sex. For every woman who has wondered why she’s broken for having a “low sex drive,” or why her body is “betraying” her by not being aroused when her partner wants, or who wonders if the kind of sex she’s having is healthy and normal, or wondering if there could be a “Pink Viagra” out there to make her want sex all the time, this is for you.

Emily Nagoski has some answers.

Why isn't there a

Why isn’t there a “Pink Viagra?”

What Come As You Are is not is a lady magazine giving you all the best tips to satisfy your man. There are no 30 Positions You Must Try Tonight lists, no 10 Ways You’re Secretly Turning Him Off articles, no 5 Steps to an Easy, Mind-Blowing Orgasm. Nagoski does not recommend that you light candles, wear something sexy, eat a donut off of your partner’s penis, or practice your O-Face. This book isn’t about giving surface solutions to an unsatisfactory sex life, it’s about fixing the problem.

And what is the problem?

Hint: it’s not you.

Generally speaking, it’s how our culture teaches us to relate to our bodies. In Nagoski’s book she makes it clear that the way our bodies work is completely natural and normal. There’s a lot of variety of sexual experiences, whether you have a sensitive accelerator or a sensitive brake, what kinds of stimulus most affect you, and more, but it’s all natural. It’s all normal. It’s all okay. However, because our culture decides that one narrative is acceptable and normal (or, more frustratingly, when different aspects of our culture give us contradictory narratives that are ideal)  we tend to view natural differences as dysfunctions. So, she talks about why this happens and then she talks about how to fix it.

Illustrations by Erika Moen of OhJoySexToy.Com

Illustrations by Erika Moen of OhJoySexToy.Com

Nagoski structures the book very appealingly, at least in my eyes. It’s pretty long at 338 pages (before the appendices and notes) but I breezed through it in a day and a half on my first reading. There are four parts (The Basics, Sex in Context, Sex in Action, and Ecstacy for Everybody) with two to three chapters a piece.  Each of the chapters has a bullet-point summary at the end, the TL;DR section, which helps re-cap the chapter before we move on.

We work from the bottom up, from how our genitals develop in-utero to how we learn about sex and, finally, how to put all this information together to improve your sex life. There are also worksheets and surveys for you to fill out so that you can think about your own sex life and put the science to work for you.

A TL;DR and worksheet.

A TL;DR and worksheet.

So, yes, there’s a lot of science in it. There’s studies about people responding to videos of primates mating, there are rats with lemon fetishes and aversions to Iggy Pop, there are experiments in it cover to cover. But it’s not hard to read, and for every bit of science there’s a personal anecdote by one of four women (well, compound characters that represent real women) who are all learning to improve their sex lives or references to pop-culture to keep things light and easy to read. She can be downright funny sometimes and tender at others, Nagoski just has a fantastic voice.

There are a lot of metaphors in the book. Since a lot of what Nagoski says is contrary to our basic cultural understanding and she knows not all of her readers are science-minded folk, she compares the facts of sex to a number of different things. But, since sex is complicated, there are a lot of metaphors. We, and the aspects that make up our sexuality, are simultaneously gardens, tomato plants in a desert, showers, a panel of levers and switches, sleepy hedgehogs, and more. It can be a little confusing, but picking what metaphors work best for you makes reading it much easier.

You know a book is good when you go into it expecting not to be profoundly affected and then, whoops, your entire outlook on something is changed. I didn’t read this book from the perspective of someone who views themselves as sexually dysfunctional, so the worksheets  remain untouched, but one of the metaphors Nagoski uses really stuck out at me: Sleepy hedgehogs. Instead of conceptualizing my emotions as unnameable, unspeakable Eldritch horrors (as I tend to do) I’ve started using her advice and thinking about them as sleepy hedgehogs. Sure, a hedgehog can hurt you if you mishandle it, but it doesn’t mean to. It’s not something to run away from, not something to fear. Something… normal. And it’s helped a lot.

There are tea stains all over this section because I was so distracted by how profound this was. No shame.

There are tea stains all over this section because I was so distracted by how profound this was. No shame.

So now when I emotionally-vomit at my partner I can apologize by saying “Oh, sorry, I just threw a hedgehog at you, didn’t I?” and take more responsibility for it. Hey, I’m human. It happens, but I can control it. And this book helped give me the perspective to do just that.

I have some questions that remain unanswered by the book. Why men and women have such different sexualities when we are the same parts, organized differently remains somewhat mysterious to me despite there being a short section on it. Is it biology? Is it socialization? There’s a short section on this at the beginning of the book but it raised more questions for me than it did answer them. My gut says it’s both, but my gut also says that we probably don’t have the answer yet.

A lot of information in this book is gender neutral which makes me hope that some day a corresponding book will come out for men. I can see why Nagoski chose to write this for women, who are more likely to report “sexual dysfunction” and are under more pressure about it, but I really don’t want anyone to go without really understanding arousal or without learning about developing a healthy relationship with your emotions. Although, I had a discussion with my brother about it who informs me that men just don’t buy books like this. I can only hope a more frank discussion about sex and gender in our culture will change that.

I only have one specific complaint about the book and that’s how Nagoski handles gender and sex at the very beginning. She makes the point that this book is made for cisgender women. That is fair. There hasn’t been a lot of research on the sexual development of transgender people that isn’t really gross (as in, that doesn’t attempt to use sex to dismiss the fact that they are transgender, or to diagnose them with a disorder.) But she way she handles this rubbed me the exact wrong way:

[T]here’s too little research on trans* and genderqueer sexual functioning for me to say with certainty whether what’s true about cisgender women’s sexual wellbeing is also true for trans* folks. I think it probably is, and as more research emerges over the coming decade we’ll find out, but in the meantime I want to acknowledge that this is basically a book about cisgender women.

And if you don’t know what any of that means, don’t worry about it.

Did that come across as… dismissive to you? And totally out of step with the rest of her engaging, friendly, enthusiastic voice? Because it certainly did for me. Enough for me to mar an otherwise sparkling review because I couldn’t let this one line on page 8 of a 300+ page book go. Why shouldn’t readers who don’t know what the words cisgender, genderqueer, or transgender worry about it? It seems to me that Nagoski is in a perfect situation to tell these people what those words mean. Gender makes up a significant portion of the rest of the book, after all. It wouldn’t have been out of place.

So, for the record: here’s the definition of cisgender from Time magazinesome Q&A about transgender people from the National Center for Transgender Equality, and an explanation of Genderqueer from the Nonbinary wiki.



So, what I’m saying here is, buy this book. Even if you don’t feel sexually dysfunctional. Even if you don’t think you’ll learn anything new. If you don’t get it for you, get it for a female friend who is struggling. I think we can all benefit from what Emily Nagoski has to say.


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DIY Paracord Locking Collar Prototype

Lately I’ve been enjoying a bit of paracord crafting in preparation for a tutorial for this blog. It’s been a while since I’ve worked with paracord and since the one thing that makes your paracord project look polished and lovely, the tension at which you hold your strands while you braid (which is the difference between a nice even pattern and a twisting, uneven one), can really only be improved with practice, I wanted to make a smaller project at first.  Enter, the prototype of this lovely little locking collar.


I say prototype only because there are a few things I want to change, but I’m pleased enough with it to want to show it off here. The construction is a simple four strand round braid made of two lengths of paracord. Generally when people make chokers or bracelets with this braid they use a ball and loop closure, so I had to adjust this one to have two loops on the ends rather than a loop and a ball for closure. It only closes once the lock is on.


The braid–I’m still working on my tension.

As you can see nelow, there’s an ugly fusion in the center of each of the loops. This will be fixed in the final version, I just needed to make the collar to find out how big I wanted the loops at the front to be. Initially they were quite large, so I trimmed and fused them a few times until I found a smaller size that I liked better. Next time I’ll make the loops the smaller size from the beginning and the front loops will be seamless.


This braid uses two lengths of paracord so there are lots of different color possibilities for this one depending on what your preferences are. I quite like black and purple myself. My paracord came from Paracord Galaxy, I got three bundles of 100ft of cord and it came in at under $20, including pretty quick shipping, which was nice. The other cord I got is black/purple/white/gray which I thought would be a little busy on this collar, so I’m saving that for the other tutorial.


As you might have noticed, I had a little trouble with the initial cast-on. I’ve been working on this, the next one will have a tighter, neater knot to start off.


I think a solid black collar with a silver padlock would look wonderful. Actually, this would be a great excuse to show off a pretty decorative lock, but the one that came with my CB6000 is the only one I had to hand. I thought initially about stringing a charm or tag onto the paracord and having the padlock at the back, but my lock is too heavy and would have dragged the entire thing down my back a little, which would be uncomfortable to wear. So, front-locking it is.


I envisioned this being more of a casual day collar than a play one, which is why there isn’t an O-Ring to attach a lead to. I think if I wanted a leash-compatible collar I’d use a wider, flatter braid so as not to put a lot of pressure on a relatively small surface area (maybe something like this cobra weave.) Maybe I’ll make a matching play collar with an O-Ring for sceneing.

I’m really pleased with this collar, I’ll document the making of the next one so that we can see the final project. So, watch this space for my next version!


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Using Tumblr for Your Sex Toy Shop

Do you tumble?

Tumblr is a micro-blogging platform with over 233 million blogs that is growing into its own on the social media scene and has attracting the attention of many different businesses (Denny’s Tumblr, anyone?.) Adult shops in particular have found that Tumblr’s sex-positive atmosphere is really helpful for advertising their businesses but seem to be getting mixed results. Some people discover too late that Tumblr is not like WordPress, not like Twitter, and then become confused as to how to use it to their best advantage. I’ve personally been using Tumblr since 2010 and have seen many business blogs come and go, very few seem to be able to properly grasp how to use Tumblr to their best advantage and stick around. In this post I will be offering some advice on how to best use Tumblr to advertise your adult business.


This guide will be focusing more specifically on stores that sell but don’t manufacture their goods. Independent sex toy creators who use Tumblr generally have a bit more leeway because Tumblr loves artisans and being more personable with them. If you own a store that just sells sex toys / adult products, this guide should be of some help!

Signing Up

If you are already using Tumblr for a personal blog, sign up for a separate account with your company e-mail. Do not make your company blog just a side blog of your personal one, that will make it much harder to connect to your intended audience.

When you sign up, find the closest username you can for your store. My dummy store is named Blue Rose Erotics, so I chose the username If you find that your shop name is already taken, add “shop” “inc” “store” or something similar to the end of the url.

This is your dashboard. When you sign up, follow the tutorial to get a basic tour of it.

This is your dashboard. When you sign up, follow the tutorial to get a basic tour of it.

If you’re brand new to the website, Tumblr has a decent tutorial that starts when you first sign up to show you a tour of your dashboard and how to view other people’s content. I recommend following it to get a better idea of how Tumblr works on the most basic level, I don’t have the space for it here.

Now, head on over to your settings. You need to check the box that states you are an Adult-Oriented blog. While you’re there, check the boxes that allow messages and anonymous messages.




Icon and Blog Preview

Your icon is the face of your blog and when you sign up for Tumblr it will be one of these little geometric shapes. You’ll need to change that as soon as you can. It is a 64 X 64 pixel space, so don’t upload something really complicated and hard to see. Your logo is good if it doesn’t have too much tiny type on it.



That little window appears when someone hovers over your icon, it will show your banner and three of your most recent posts as a sample of your content.

During and after

During and after

I can’t emphasize enough how important this little window is, it’s the first impression Tumblr users have of your store. Make sure it’s all set up, otherwise people will likely dismiss you as spam.

Blog Appearance

This theme. I hate it.

This theme. I hate it.

When you sign up your theme will be standardized to this theme which isn’t very user friendly. Tumblr has a huge index of themes you can search for based on different criteria. Some of these themes are free, some cost money, or there is an option to insert HTML if you have a web designer who is up for making Tumblr themes. It’s entirely up to you if you want to spend for a specific theme. Here are some aspects to look for:

  • Searching for highly-customizable themes means you can change the colors or fonts to reflect your store front.
  • That being said, exercise some restraint and stick to simpler themes when possible. Lots of clashing colors, animations, and hard to read fonts will not encourage people to stick around.
  • Infinite Scroll themes are the bane of my existence, eventually they take forever to load and are prone to crashing. Please avoid.
  • Choose themes that show the text below the image. This is where you’re going to be putting your links so that people know where to purchase your products, make sure it shows!
  • Many Tumblr users access Tumblr on their phones and tablets, it’s worth checking out what your blog looks like on multiple screens to see if it’s still easy on the eyes.

Here I’ve set up Blue Rose Erotics with four different good themes:


Themes: Orange Pop, Single A, Spacing, and Copycat.

When you’ve chosen your theme it is time to type up your bio which will likely be either at the top or the sidebar of your page. What you write is up to you, you may have a stock bio to use. Just be clear that your Tumblr is the blog of your shop and keep it short and sweet.

Disclaimer: I didn't reserve this .com address or e-mail. Don't actually e-mail them.

Disclaimer: I didn’t reserve this .com address or e-mail. Don’t actually e-mail them.

The bio is meant to be short and sweet but you can also add an About page by editing your theme and clicking “add page.” On this about page feel free to write a longer explanation of your business, including your store’s contact information and address (if you have a store front.) In addition to having an About page, you might want to consider having an FAQ page, a Most Popular Products page, links to your other social media sites, etc.

Your Posts

Tumblr has the option to post a number of different post types: text, pictures, quotes, videos, audio, links, and chats. It covers all the bases but with that being said, I would recommend that you keep most of your posts as images. These are the most eye-catching posts that people pay attention to.

For example, say you wanted to advertise some pasties.

This is a link:


This is boring.

This is boring, it’s not eye-catching. What are you even selling? Let’s be frank, a lot of users are lazy, they’re not going to click-through to see what it is, they’ll just skip past your post.

So, instead, upload photos:

This is eyecatching! I can see what you're selling! Woah, pretty! And you have a link so I can go buy it right away! Much better.

This is eyecatching! I can see what you’re selling! Woah, pretty! With a nice blurb to tell me what they are and how much they cost. And you have a link so I can go buy it right away! Much better.

Tumblr’s image posts are 540pixels wide which really should be the minimum width of images that you use. Everything bigger will scale down to that size for the dashboard. For heaven’s sake, don’t upload thumbnails or other tiny images. Which looks more eye-catching?




Bonus hint: double-check the spelling of your tags. “Silcione.” Oops.

(The correct answer is the second one.)

If you want a better break-down of the Tumblr pixel sizes for different types of posts, click here.

Alongside product images, you may also want to post other kinds of photos. Behind the scenes at your shop? Fabulous. Banners advertising your new sale? Groovy. Promotional material for your shop? Yes. In-progress shots of a new display or art piece? Yup! Selfies of your staff doing silly things like balancing dildos on your foreheads? Great! As long as you’re reasonably professional while doing this and don’t spam this kind of post, these will do a lot to build consumer trust and community with your followers.

So, what about the other post types?

  • Audio posts – These are mostly used for music on Tumblr, there isn’t a lot of reason for you to want to post these.
  • Links – As discussed, these aren’t as eye-catching as photos and since you can put links in the text boxes of your photo posts you shouldn’t use these a lot, either.
  • Videos – Behind the scenes? Tour of your storefront? Safe for Work toy demos? All wonderful ideas! Video posts don’t generally get as many views as others, but they can be great ways to get your personality across.
  • Chats – Want to post a little bit of office banter? This is the way to do it.
  • Quotes – Another way to do that. Quotes show up in a larger font size than text posts but do not abuse this to get attention to something anymore than you would send an e-mail in all-caps.

Lastly, text posts.

If you want to post text posts, keep them short. Tumblr is a micro-blogging platform so get the notion that you need to write very long sex toy guides to build a following out of your head. You can post them, but do so sparingly. As I said before, Tumblr loves pictures.

Posting Etiquette and Voice

Many adult stores make the mistake of trying to be too overtly sexual in their copy. People tend not to want to follow blogs that constantly use innuendos and winky faces, there really isn’t any reason to do this. We all know why someone is buying a sex toy but if you’re too overbearing and sexual it comes across as extremely creepy and people will shy away. Be personable but professional instead.

Similarly, just because your business is adult-oriented doesn’t mean you need to be explicitly erotic and, in fact, I would recommend against that. Just because people want to buy sex toys doesn’t mean that they want to see your taste in porn.

And another thing: your blog is meant to advertise your business. While Tumblr enjoys getting to know the people behind the toys, you must only do this in a professional way. This means not making explicit personal posts on your business blog. You can make your own personal blog for that.  ((This is one of the cases where artisinal sex toy makers have more leeway.))

Tumblr has a reblog function to put other people’s posts on your blog but because your blog is all about your shop I would use this function minimally. Your blog should be your own content, where possible. Tagging reblogged posts as “reblog” or something similar will keep your blog organized and help people weed out things that aren’t relevant to your shop.

If you do choose to reblog someone’s post, it is considered bad etiquette to advertise yourself on their content, and don’t hi-jack someone else’s post to talk about your products.

This is rude. Don't do it.

This is rude. Don’t do it.

This is something I see a lot on Twitter as well, but really you shouldn’t post “sex facts” and click-bait articles. It’s unnecessary. Did you know that the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings? Yes, because literally every single account that posts Sex Facts has posted that and it’s boring and now I’m ignoring your content because it’s the same as everyone elses. Stick to advertising yourself, not Buzzfeed’s latest posts or the Penis wikipedia page.

Speaking of Twitter, I would also urge you not to sync your social media accounts together and automate posts (i.e., no tweets to announce that you’ve posted new content on Tumblr, no automatic Tumblr posts from your WordPress account.) It’s especially annoying if you do this and then post the same content on your other social media account anyway, so you get this bizarre scenario where someone’s Twitter has 1. a “I just added new content to my shop” tweet, 2. a “I just posted something new on Tumblr” tweet, and 3. a “I just posted something new on Pinterest” tweet in a row, all advertising the same content! This comes across as just lazy, which is a put-off if you’re trying to build followers on a site like Tumblr.

Using Tags

Tags are Tumblr’s way of organizing posts. People track tags that they’re interested in searching regularly and then use tags on their own blogs to sort their content in an easy-to-follow manner.

First things first, track your own URL. When people respond to you or have questions about your website they will generally tag your username so tracking your username will help you keep track of what people are saying about you!


When you are tagging posts on Tumblr only the first five tags will be indexed with your post. That means if you post a sex toy and tag it, for example, Tantus; Dildo; Sex Toy; Silicone; Adult Product; Adult Novelty; Blue; Sexy; Erotic, etc. then that post will only show up in the Tantus, Dildo, Sex Toy, Silicone, and Adult Product tags. The rest of the tags (up to 30) will still be searchable on your blog, just not on the Tumblr engine.


For your marketing strategy, this means that you’re going to want to add the most general tags that people are going to be searching for first. People who want to look for “Sex Toys” will search that tag and find you, which is good, but don’t stick something like “Blue” in the first five tags because, chances are, people who are searching for “Blue” are not looking for sex toys and you’ll be ignored. Some general tags to use include: Sex Toy, Sex Toys, Adult Toys, etc. and then what type of product it is, i.e. Dildo, Vibrator, etc. or the brand it is, i.e. Tantus, Pipedream, etc. Don’t fall into the trap of having hyper-specific tags, i.e. Blue Silicone Vibrator, etc. because no one is searching those tags. Keeping them general means casting a wider net.

Do not fall into the trap of tagging all of your posts the same thing. It makes your blog difficult to navigate.

Do not fall into the trap of just tagging your product unrelated tags just because you think they’ll find a bigger audience. People search the tags to find specific things and tend to block blogs that spam unrelated tags, which means keeping your Dildos out of the Porn tag.

Do not fall into the trap of adding commentary in the first five tags of your post. This is fine for personal blogs, but make the most of the first five tags and use them for marketing.

Building a Following

By looking at your activity you’ll be able to see your most popular posts and the people who interact with your blog at a glance. Since Blue Rose Erotics is just a dummy store and I can’t build a following with it, here’s a glance at my activity on one of my other Tumblrs.

You can also view this graph for the past 24 hours, the past week, and the past month.

You can also view this graph for the past 24 hours, the past week, and the past month.

Tumblr followers build exponentially. While some people will find you via the tags or searching, most of your following is going to come from people seeing that other people have reblogged from your blog and going to check you out. So, the more people that reblog you, the more people see you and then you get more followers. It can be slow going at first, especially for adult blogs, so don’t be worried if you spend a week or so with very little activity on your feed.  You’ll get there.

Note: Tumblr has a problem with spam blogs all the time so not every follower is a flesh-and-blood person who will buy from your shop. Some people will follow your blog but not want to interact with it by liking or reblogging, which is fine. By the same token, some people will check your blog out regularly and like or reblog your content but not follow you because they don’t necessarily want your content on their dashboard (usually because they don’t want NSFW stuff cropping up expectantly.) Use your followers as a general guideline (and an excuse to run sales and such to boost your visibility) but don’t be too concerned.

Some things you can do to boost your followers faster:

  • Interact with people’s blogs. Check out the adult tags and like people’s posts or respond to their questions (the ‘Sex Toys’ tag is always full of people asking for toy recommendations.)
  • Follow more people. People tend to check out the blogs of people that follow them so it can be effective advertising.
  • Find out who is popular. Check the tags you think are most relevant to your store. Who posts there frequently? Keep an eye out on people answering asks a lot, if other people seek out their opinions frequently you should take note of them.
  • Offer exclusive discounts to your Tumblr followers.
  • Host giveaways (more on that below.)

Do not:

  • Send people asks requesting that they check out your blog, it’s tacky.
  • Request promotions from popular bloggers, ditto.
  • Send every single person who follows you a copy-pasted thank-you-for-following message.

Using Giveaways Effectively

You can also use giveaways to build your blog. Tumblr giveaways are different from other blog giveaways because they don’t use things like Rafflecopter or Gleam to enter. A Tumblr giveaway is announced on a post which people reblog and then at the end of the giveaway you use a randomizer to pick the URL who wins the prize. There are no multiple-ways-to-enter, no +1 entry if you Tweet this post. So, choose a prize and post a picture with the Giveaway conditions in the text underneath. Some general guidelines:

  • People must be 18+ to enter Tumblr giveaways, no exception.
  • They must be following you (This is where you get new followers from.)
  • 1 Reblog = 1 Entry, Likes Do Not Count (Some giveaways only allow one entry but the more entries you allow the more times the post is reblogged and the more people have a chance of seeing it, extending your visibility. Since people’s likes aren’t visible to others, a like doesn’t help you reach new people, so don’t reward people for it.)
  • No give-away blogs (Blogs that only reblog giveaways have limited reach and don’t help you build your brand.)
  • Caption must remain with the post (Some people who reblog delete captions so that others don’t know it’s a giveaway and won’t enter, which is bad for your store–don’t give them an excuse to do this!)
  • Decide where you’re willing to ship (It’s okay to only have a giveaway open to your country but if you open it world-wide more people can enter and will be likely to follow you.)
  • Give a clear end-date to the giveaway including the date, time, and time zone (I.e. Don’t say that the giveaway ends “a week from today” but rather May 7th at 11:59pm EST. There are Tumblr users all over the world, time zones are confusing.)
  • Ask box must be open (You need a way to contact that person to ask for their delivery information. If their ask box isn’t open, just re-do the randomizer. Their loss.)

Make sure you announce the end of the giveaway on your blog, a simple “The Giveaway has ended and the winner has been contacted!” will do. People are suspicious of stores that hold giveaways but don’t announce the end of it because it’s easy to assume that the person holding the giveaway just did it to gain followers without actually having a prize to send out.

A Word About “”Tumblr Culture”” and Social Justice

Tumblr has a reputation in social media circles for certain types of behavior, I see a lot of people who have very obviously never been on Tumblr generalizing about how everyone on Tumblr cries about being triggered by bowls of cereal or offended by people wearing yellow on a Tuesday. I think this stereotyping of Tumblr is childish,  irritating, and harmful because it draws attention away from actual complaints that Tumblr bloggers are making about legitimate concerns that affect them on a day to day basis. It’s not amusing.

Yes, there are communities of people on Tumblr dedicated to social justice, to LGBT+ supportiveness, to dismantling patriarchy or racial hierarchy, but as I said before, Tumblr has 233 million blogs. There is no “Tumblr says X,” no “Everyone on Tumblr thinks Y.” Tumblr is not a hivemind.

A person’s experience of Tumblr is entirely dependent on the blogs that they choose to follow. Don’t want to see pictures of cats? Don’t follow cat blogs. Not interested in social justice? Stay away from those circles. However, Tumblr has fostered a community for certain groups of people to be passionate about their interests. If their interests include active social justice, they will call-out people that they believe to be problematic.

If you’ve followed some of my instructions (especially about being personable and professional) you can hopefully avoid any kind of incident, but it may happen. For example, recently on Tumblr a shop posted links to one of their lines of toys that was covered in racial stereotypes. Yes, people are going to call you out on that because it’s fucking abhorrent and you shouldn’t sell them, but you made your choice so let’s roll with it. I should not have to urge business people to be respectful in this circumstance, don’t chase off your potential customers by being an ass. If you have done something to upset your customer base, try to understand what you did wrong and correct it. Faux apologies like “I’m sorry YOU were offended” will not be accepted. Analyze your behavior, then take the appropriate action (like not stocking that line, for crying out loud) and move on with grace. This isn’t about defending yourself against mean Social Justice Warriors being up in arms and wanting to be offended by nothing, this is about good business practice.

If you go into Tumblr being defensive against “SJWs” when you haven’t done anything wrong, you’re being silly. No one is going to leap out of the bushes to scold you if you haven’t actually done anything. Most importantly, don’t do what a recent shop I saw did and pick fights with Social Justice folk for no reason and goad them about finding something problematic with your shop. That’s just setting yourself up for failure. Why why why why why.


If you’ve stuck through to the end of this obscenely long post, congratulations! I hope you’ve found the information I’ve written here helpful. As with anything, the more you Tumble the easier it gets, so don’t be worried if it takes you a while to get into the swing of things. If you’ve Tumbled long enough to break one of the rules here? Fabulous! Good for you. This is meant as a general guide, I look forward to seeing shops come out the other side with their own well-informed ideas.

If you have any more questions or need more personal assistance and consultation for setting up or running a Tumblr blog for your adult business, contact me at and I can send you my rates.

Happy tumbling!


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10 Ways to Celebrate International Masturbation Month

Did you know that May is International Masturbation month? And that this wonderful celebration of self-pleasure has been going on for twenty years? You can read more about the founding of this event (and some very important discussion of America’s anti-masturbatory anxiety) on Good Vibrations’ blog here. But how does one celebrate such a thing? Well, by masturbating, of course, but here are ten ways.


  1. Experiment with mutually masturbation with your partner before sex. If you haven’t already, masturbating with your partner is a great way to show them what you like and don’t like during intercourse. It isn’t just for new couples though, sometimes it’s really just hot to watch your partner get off.
  2. Find something new to jerk it to. Find a new erotic book to read or try out a new porn subscription (I’m a big fan of Crashpad.) Whatever you choose, remember to #payforyourporn and support your favorite smut peddlers.
  3. Take it slow. A lot of times it can be tempting just to head straight for the genitals to get the job done but masturbation shouldn’t feel like a race. When you’re masturbating this month, explore your other erogenous zones before getting down to The Business.
  4. Try an edging challenge. Edging is the practice of getting right up to the edge of orgasm and trying to hold it for as long as possible, or doing that as many times as possible, without actually orgasming. The resulting orgasm after all that waiting is usually pretty powerful.
  5. Do good. Masturbation Month was started because anxiety surrounding sexual education and how, especially in the US, it’s usually abstinence-only. Do you know what your local policy is on sex ed? Find out and, if you find the time, reach out to your representatives to let them know that you support real sexual education, not scare-mongering.
  6. Make yourself a masturbation playlist. Some people make sex playlists, I make masturbation playlists (mostly so I don’t have to subject my partner to four Depeche Mode songs in a row.) Bonus points if you time your orgasm to hit when there’s a nice bass drop or excellent guitar solo.
  7. Go public by wearing a toy while out and about. Kegel exercises or love eggs, clitoral clamps, butt plugs, and certain rope ties are perfect for wearing under your clothes for a little bit of self-love throughout the day. If you’re brave, you can even try finishing in public.
  8. Learn something new. Many sex toy shops or BDSM communities have regular workshops, roundtables, and other kinds of community events that are all about sex positivity. Even if you’re sure there’s nothing for you to learn (in which case -eyebrow raise-) you might meet cool people or find you have something to contribute. Check Twitter for local events.
  9. Do non-sexual nice things for yourself. Masturbation is one of the greatest forms of self-love, in my opinion, but it’s not the only way. Treat yourself to something nice you can do by yourself. If it’s the right kind of something (a bubble bath springs to mind) you might end up celebrating International Masturbation Month anyhow!
  10. Try a new toy. This should come as no surprise from a sex toy blogger but is there really ever a bad time to get yourself a new toy? Methinks not. Bonus points if it is a type of toy you haven’t tried before. I’m currently lusting over the We-Vibe Tango, Bad Dragon’s The Guardian, Magic Wand Rechargable, and Tantus’s Bound.

How will you be celebrating International Masturbation Month?


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Review: Frida Brocade Underbust Corset

Corsets are pretty ubiquitous in fetish circles, they come in all types of shapes and designs that fit everything from 50’s pin-ups to military ensembles. I’ve been wearing corsets since my teens and have developed a fondness for them so when I saw this gorgeous Frida Brocade Underbust Corset for sale on Corset Deal I had to snatch it up.


The Frida came packaged in a clear plastic bag. If you’re picky about lint and that kind of thing, you could keep your corset stored in that bag. I have just accepted the presence of cat hair on every piece of clothing I own so I discarded it and keep my corsets draped over hangers in my closet.

The satin waist tape.

The satin waist tape.

Frida’s construction is fairly standard for corsets. It is underbust with a frontal length of 11 inches, a side length of 9.5 inches, and a back length of 11.5 inches. It comes in a range  of sizes (for more information about which size to choose, click here.) The fabric is a beautiful black and silver brocade with stripes and a floral band with a cotton lining and the bones are flat steel. There is also a back modesty panel so that if you choose to wear the corset with nothing under it your  skin is still covered, but I prefer to remove mine and then re-lace the corset up.


Now, I had to keep re-writing this paragraph because it seemed like body-shaming to me. To clarify, I’m a plus-sized woman. BBW, voluptuous, curvy, chubby, round, whatever you wanna say. I’m also okay with that, it hasn’t stopped me from running and swimming and playing sports and all the other physical activities I want to do. It certainly hasn’t stopped me from writing a blog where I showcase pretty lingerie for women that want to feel sexy no matter their size. That being said, I love the changes corsets give my body. There is a reduction in waist size, yes, but I’m mostly excited about the re-shaping it gives me. Isn’t it cool?


I find the Frida very comfortable to wear. Yes, corsets take a bit of getting used to, of course, but the Frida isn’t uncomfortable at all. I’ve been known to jokingly refer to it as a steel-boned hug. I’ve never felt like I was going to faint when wearing it, but if you’re concerned then definitely ease into tightening the laces fully.


For looks, I couldn’t be more ecstatic. Neither could my partner. The Frida looks damn good and it doesn’t restrict my movement so much that wearing it during sex would be uncomfortable. The underbust style leaves your breasts free so it pairs great with nipple tassels or a cute bra. The silver/black color also goes with a lot of different looks so it’s easy to coordinate with other lingerie if you are so inclined, but it also looks great on top of clothing.


To clean the Frida it is recommended that you have it dry-cleaned, certainly never toss a corset in the washing machine or dryer. If you find a spot or something small on the corset, as I have, I’ve found that a barely-damp cloth and tiny bit of scrubbing works wonders. If you’re worried about smell, air your corset out by hanging it in a breezy area before storing it. You can also keep it stored with scent sachets, soaps, etc. to improve the smell, but be sure that there is a protective barrier between to avoid getting anything gross on your corset.


Do I have any complaints? Well… no! I’m convinced I had some guardian spirit looking over me when I found this deal, it’s the perfect comfortable day-to-day corset at an amazing price and I’ve loved wearing it under clothes, over them, with lingerie, and on its own since I got it.

What sets Corset Deal apart is their dirt cheap prices and constant sales. There’s always a sale going on, it seems, and between that and the deals you can get this is one of the best ways to purchase a cheap corset that I’ve found. My Frida was originally listed at $106 but was on sale for $30 which, combined with a coupon from their mailing list, made it a ridiculous steal cheaper than some plastic-boned “corsets” on the market.


If you’d like to purchase your own Frida, it’s still for sale on Corset Deal right now here, although there are limited sizes available. Be sure to check out the rest of the website for more sizes and designs of corsets, too!


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Review: Spank Me Baby

Spank Me Baby is a sweetly scented powder manufactured by Love to Love that is meant to be applied before a spanking to create a cushion between the impact tool and the skin. With each smack a little bit of the powder comes up so your spankings are nicely coconut scented, which is an interesting concept. When the lovely folk over at Your Pleasure sent this to me I was a little puzzled by this product, but how did it turn out?


Like a lot of the items in Your Pleasure’s power pleasure collection, Spank Me Baby is meant to be useful to people new to kink. The powder’s main claim is that it has a soothing effect on the skin which makes receiving spankings a lot easier for people who don’t have a high pain tolerance yet.

I wanted some first-hand experience with it so I decided to try out Spank Me Baby with a variety of impact tools, including my palm, the Butterfly Effect paddle, the heart spanking paddle, and my DOMINIX BRAUN flogger. For the sake of science, I applied the powder to my left thigh and left my right thigh without so I’d be able to compare. The consistency of the powder is kind of line fine face powder, it’s really quite pleasant on the skin. In each case, the powdered thigh hurt less than the unpowdered one. When I was finished my right thigh was significantly more red and stung a lot more than my left one, so the powder definitely does it’s job of mellowing out intense tools.

The powder has a really nice sweet coconut scent but, with such close proximity to my face in a drawn-out testing session I found myself getting slightly overwhelmed by it. It’s entirely possible that this was just because I was so close to my thighs and that in an actual kinky scene that wouldn’t happen. The smell clung to the clothes I put on afterwards, too, so this is something to consider if you’re particularly sensitive to smells.

Spank Me Baby’s ingredients list is pretty short, it’s mostly tapioca starch with additives to give it that lovely coconut smell. It’s paraben free and non-toxic, I’ve never had a reaction even on my sensitive skin. That being said, don’t ingest it and try not to get it in your eyes. That would be very unpleasant.


The outer packaging is fairly fun and quirky but isn’t necessary to hold onto since the bottle is quite sturdy. The bottle it comes in isn’t very exciting, almost medicinal except for the big Spank Me Baby font. So, it’s not as discreet as it could be, but tucked away in my play kit I’m not bothered. The lid is really nice, though. It flips up by pressing on a tab on the side of it so you can do that one-handed, plus I’ve never had a spill with this lid, which is always good.

If you like your pain play or just need a stricter punishment, or you hate the smell of coconut, you might want to pass this by. However, if you’re interested in light BDSM impact play and need a little cushioning, I’d definitely recommend Spank Me Baby. There are a number of products out there that boast similar effects but the lovely smell, consistency, and effectiveness of this one can’t be ignored. If you’re interested in picking up your own, you can get it at Your Pleasure here.





Thank you to for sending me this product for an honest review.

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